Sunday, May 13, 2007

                 

Wow, some graphic for Mother's Day.  A picture tells a thousand words in this case.  I hate to vent; yet this journal has become my haven for releasing; especially things that would hurt my children even more if they read it.  So much for my lack of words this morning in my other journal.

My mom is extremely upset and depressed since her car accident and mourning the loss of independence from driving but not to the extent that my brother was claiming. 

Things were nice today.  My mother seemed ok; not wonderful but not totally despondent; just in a state of flux.  Then...we were in the kitchen.  I was finishing dishes.  We got done.  I went on the porch; the look on Joey's face was like death.  My brother left and the doo doo hit the fan.  It seems my brother told Joey that when my mother is no longer around, his "free ride" is over.  He will need to get a job and grow up.  I was livid.  My son suffers from depression; an illness the last I heard.  He is working 10 months out of the year and gets panic attacks with interviews. He blows them all through no fault of his own.  My mother then came out.  I hesitated to say anything since she was already upset over the accident at Easter.  It had to be done.  My brother had gone too far this time.  My mother was livid and called his cell phone.  I must say she really laid into him and let him know who is still the matriarch of the family.  I also know that my brother was not referring to Joey getting a free ride.  Joey lives with me.  My mother has helped me each month financially since my child support ended two years ago.  My brother has said nasty things to me off and on about this.  I'm the one who's getting the free ride in his mind although I wouldn't call it a free ride.  I'm not happy that I'm dependent upon my mother at this time one bit but thankful for her generosity.

My BF is intervening this week.  My mother respects my BF and listens to him.  I have to think because he is so much like my dad was.  See, I did it right the second time around.  He is going to speak to my mom about the will.  This has to be done as my brother is far too cocky about controlling the purse strings after my mother is gone.  I have a feeling the will is set up that way for him to be so arrogant about it. 

For Heaven's sake, she is still alive.  What is wrong with him?  And on Mother's Day? I'm not sure my mother knows what is in her will.  It's in my brother's safe at his house.  This will be taken care of some time this week.

I'm still so furious with my brother for attacking my son.  My mother is furious because Joey is her heart and soul.  She saw how upset he was.  And my heart broke because my 87 year old mother had to have another nail punched through her heart by her own son.  Somehow he will try to talk his way out of this one.  She will want to believe him because she doesn't have the strength not to.  But I have strength, and my BF has even more.

On a lighter note, this was in the Asia blog today (Megan in the blue top in the front).  There was another entry but I have a whopping headache.  I'll post it tomorrow.

           HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY FROM BEIJING 

           

The entire Asian study abroad group wants to wish all of the mothers out there a Happy Mothers' Day!

 

29 comments:

geocachelinda66 said...

I'm sorry to hear about the problems with your brother.  Try to have a Happy Mother's Day anyhow.  Linda

mermaidgypsy said...

I suffer from Bi Polar Disorder and believe me, those who do not have it themselves or are empathetic like yourselves can be extremely cruel...I am so glad that your mother is helping out. I too am a single mother, who raised my son, now 19, by myself since he was 1, as his father drank and took drugs. He doesn't anymore, but played such emotional chaos that it took a very heavy toll on my son's life that Alex, my son, ended up getting into drugs himself and thanks to my parents and other fabulous people in my life (as well as Angels, spirit guides, etc : ) Alex is doing really well and sober and getting great grades in college. Your brother may never understand your plight or a mothers plight because he sounds extremely selfish. And I'm sorry that your mother has had such a heavy toll as well. Don't be ashamed that right now you need help for your son in any way. Parents as you know, give to their children because we want too! And I finally am also am doing it right this second time w/ my new, very new boy-friend  after a long time of kissing Toads, lol...The Angels are always hear ready to answer all our prayers, even the one's we think our tiny and inconsequential, all we need to do is ask. Esp. when your baby daughter is far away. Keep up your great graphic work. The rainbow is right around the corner.
Love your work too. Blessings and hugs to you, Wendy S.

jlocorriere05 said...

Your brother was so out of order to attack Joey like that. I know you said Joey helps her out with errands. That was plain nasty, I'm sorry it upset you and your mum on Mothers Day. I hope you can get the will sorted out, doesn't sound like your brother deserves anything. Jeannette xx  

eyesbaerle said...

So sorry to hear about the nasty outbreak of your brother. Lashing out at the "weak" ones. I hope everything will be settled in a good and peaceful way. It saddens me a lot to hear when family gets "ugly" toward each other about money or a will. - And you are so right... your Mom is still alive.... it is a very sorry behavior of your brother to talk about the future in such a way. My heart goes out to your Mom. Your Mom must be a very special person because she is there for you and your kids. Your brother could have not picked a worse day for his statement. I am sending best wishes your way. Hugs, Maria

seraphoflove9001 said...

I'm so sorry! It seems that they always go after the 'weak' ones....like men do with women! That was out of line. :o( Your poor mother. Hugs to you all.
Lisa

tendernoggle said...

You know what really ticks me off....Grown kids( such as your brother) trying to tell their parents how to spend their OWN MONEY! Unless the parent is mentally unstable, or someone is abusing them...let them be...They earned that money and can chooses to leave it or do with it like THEY WANT TO....iF they want to leave it or give it to HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS that is their right! lol
love ya,
carlene

lisa41076 said...

Chris, sorry your brother started a fight with your son, Hugs and Happy Mother's Day, Lisa

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU))))))))))))))))))I am sorry your having some family problems.But glad to see your daughter is haiving a good time.I hope you had a nice Mothers Day.Have a nice week.

nightmaremom said...

Chris I am glad you said something.  I am sorry it was today but your brother should no better.  GRRRRRRRR   Good luck and I hope things work out quickly.
hugs my friend... Happy Mother's Day
d

bgilmore725 said...

Families can be so stressful at times when we expect to have moments to remember. bea

gehi6 said...

I am so glad to hear that Megan is taking some safety measures and feeling better. She just can't afford to risk street food it seems.  But I am sure you are relieved, as to what went on to your mother's house,  I am afraid your brother is into bullying and can't resist the temptation.  Sounds so typical of people who think they are right even when they unnecessarily cruel.  Boy, he will be hard to restain.   Glad you have a BF to help.  Driving should be the least of your mom's worries.  My kids said they preferred I didn't drive in my late sixties, and since I could not afford repairs to keep my car in good shape. I agreed. I love buses.  No worries. Even Pierre learned to like letting someone else drive him.  He had gotten to be such a worry wort, drivng.  He quit when he sold his truck at 62. A lot of people in here quit driving when they cannot afford insurance, etc.  In their sixties and take to the buses.   Gerry

jibaro6543 said...

I so hope your family issues resolve peacefully and without any further hurt...it is sad that your mom is hurting and I will keep her in my prayers....
It is good that you and your BF are watching out for her....
take care
-Ellie

queenb8261 said...

Thanks for the snag. Love the pic of the kids.  Poor Megan having  to be denied all that great food.  Good for her for sticking with the plan though.
I'm sending  an email about the other stuff.
Love ya, Barb

astoriasand said...

Oh Dear Chris this is so sad that Brother has to be so hard on your son.We can choose our freinds but not our family I am afraid.At times I wish we could.It is sad Mom had to have this upset on Mothers day too of all days of the year.I do hope everything gets sorted this week on this matter for you.troubles troubles troubles when it comes to wills.These things are made to hopefully prevent troubles but at times I feel they cause more upset.If our moms cannot help us when we need help and they wish to help.Then who can help.You take everything your mom wishes you to have Chris.She wanted to help you so be it.I am so happy you have such a supportive man now in your life.You be happy together don't worry about others.Hope mom picks up and feels better with each passing day.Depression is not a very nice illness,so I wouldn't worry what your brothers says about Joey.I have every sympathy with Joey I suffered depression and panick attacks and agraphobia for ten yrs.One never knows what might come to there door one day!!! Take care God Bless.Kath
Astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand /MYSIMPLERHYMES

princesssaurora said...

{{{ Chris }}}} I am so sorry, but so happy your BF is going to get involved... your brother needs to be taken down several notches.  Poor Joey.  Sending prayers...

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

drb1064 said...

Families are hell you can't live with them and you can't claim self defense at the trial lol. hope you had a good mothers day despite your brother.
Debbie
xxx

queeniemart said...

oh baby.

your brother is a heartless asshole who's ass i want to kick. What a piece of crap he is. How dare he think he has a right to your moms money! That is your moms money. She can do whatever she wants with her money. I am so thankful BF is stepping in and i believe he will get a lawyer to fix it so you and your son and your daughters and your asshole brother all have what is fair.
Do not feel bad that this happened on Mothers Day. Your heartless brother is the one who forced the issue on that day. I have Joey close to me in my thoughts. Depression is not something to mock or make fun of and how dare your brother do all of this.
i love you
lisa

lanurseprn said...

Oh Chris, I'm so sorry your brother did that. Especially on Mother's Day.  He really needs to be put in his place. I hope your BF is able to get things straightened out.  
Poor Joey. Depression is a really wicked disease. Believe me, I know.  I fight it all the time.
Pam

jeadie05 said...

I do hope your boyfriend can get through to your Mum ,its time this was sorted out ,fancy picking on poor Joey! no wonder you have a head ache ....love Jan xx

dwhee70041 said...

Greeting Chris,  Sorry you have to deal with your brother in this way.  I hope Megan is feeling better, it looks lke she is fine now.  
Smiles,
David

emmi2sweet said...

How sad that your brother has to act that way. I have had experinces with how brothers can just let everyone down. Hopefully everything will work out. Emmi

rdautumnsage said...

There is always one in the family, someone who can't leave well enough alone and has to stir the soup and add their own indignant incredient. Apparently your brother doesn't know what it's like to struggle and depend on someone. To take it out on your son to get to you is so underhanded. Leave it to him to take a holiday that means something to your mom to stir the soup once again. I hope you and your BF can convince your mom to change the will. (Hugs) Indigo

chat2missie said...

I can't believe your brother did that!  And on Mother's Day!  I hope you were able to enjoy your day even though your brother's a jerk! LOL
Missie

jmoqueen said...

How nasty of your brother to kick off like that.  Hope your bf gets through to your mum and things can be settled.

Jenny

http://journals.aol.co.uk/jmoqueen/MyLife/

jckfrstross said...

its best your mom finds out now how your brother is. Idiot sorry but he is. good luck with the will

Deb

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

You would think that as your brother knowing you are a single mother who had divorced and IS working is trying the best that they can...and which one of his children (daughters if he has any would he let suffer because some idiot controlling wife abusing freak couldn't be the husband he should have been????)  What goes down the ol' devils back comes back up...hope he don't have to know why your mom helped one day.  Sorry that it turned ugly..Megan looks so pretty!  Hugs,TerryAnn

springangel235 said...

I'm so sorry, I missed this entry...came back...wanted to double check your journal.  Also, sorry to read how your brother treated you...it was not good.  I pray you had a good day, despite his remarks...many many hugs and lot's of love,
Joyce

chevyz71gurl74 said...

Oh Chris I am soooo sorry your brother stooped so low and hurt many along the way....I wish i could give you a big ol hug!
I hope your b/f's talk with your mother opens some eyes and makes things the way they should be.... Your poor mother...knowing her son said that(and here she is still alive)...I would be fuming too girl!  Know we are here for you!
Hugs,
Terri

penniepooh said...

I agree that your brother`s comment was way out of line and just plain rude. Geeesh.

Meagn looks so pretty and happy in this picture!  :)
Hugs
penny
http://journals.aol.com/penniepooh/pennys-pieces-of-ohio/

http://www.myspace.com/pennysplace2gogh