Saturday, November 4, 2006

October 31,2006; 12:16 p.m.

Funny how one moment in time can become etched in our minds.  Funny also how when the fragile tightrope we walk in life dissolves in front of our eyes time moves in slow motion.  Daily life continues as it was.  People mull around.  Traffic continues but we watch from another distorted realm.

Halloween day was gorgeous in Pittsburgh, 70, sunny.  Megan was walking down to meet me for lunch after her class was over at noon.  I went outside a little after 12 to enjoy the beautiful weather.  The cell phone rang, as I expected it to.  What I didn't expect was the tightrope to dissolve into pieces and scatter in the wind.  My child's voice was almost unrecognizable; hysteria had set in.  I asked what was wrong.  She said she would tell me when she got to my building.  I couldn't let it go.  Something was causing her to lose control.  I asked about her class and did she get an "f".  I asked if someone was mean to her.  Lord, what a silly thing but that's all I could think of.  She was in the bathroom and didn't want to talk.  Her roommate, bless her, just happened to come in and took Megan aside to an empty classroom.  The only words I could understand were gyne, pap smear and cervical cancer.  That was all I needed to hear to begin the free fall.

Suddenly, life was not the same as it had been a minute or two earlier.  I went back in the office to call my BF and lost control.  Bless my new coworkers for the prayers and comfort instantly bestowed upon me.  The Lord definitely blessed me with this new work environment.  I had to regain some control because my child was on her way.

I went back to the lobby and saw her leaning against a trash can with sunglasses on.  As soon as she saw me, she dissolved in tears and almost crumbled to the ground.  The call from the doctor's had come through when she was in class.  She had a message to call back ASAP, and so it all began.

Confusion, tears, comforting, and swaddling her like I did when she was a baby.

When I got  home from work, Jackie popped up, as is very typical since the Vivi's were almost ready for the final vote.  Jackie so kindly offered to make an entry for me.

I have to say I was totally unprepared for the total outpouring of prayers, love, and support.  Each and every comment touched my heart. I've read those comments many, many times over the past few days.  I want to give my heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you; the main reason for this entry.  J-Land has seemed to be a cesspool lately.  But that was only an eensy part of J-Land.  J-Land is a community filled with caring, loving people who will jump at the chance to help, lend prayers, offer support.

Really and truly, you have all touched me.  I almost felt like I was lurking, though, hiding.   I felt the need to express my thanks and to let the many people I know who commented who it was. This entry is in my graphics journal because my kids don't look at this because I never post anything interesting to them in it plus they think my PSP addiction and tags are "dorky."

I was able to get ahold of the RN at the office later in the afternoon, as Megan has missed most of the conversation

Nov. 28th will be the removal of a cone-shaped piece for biopsy to make sure the cancer is only in the epithelial layer which is the outermost layer of skin.  Most times that is the case.  Then paps will be done every 3 months for a year.  If they remain clear; every six months for another year.  98% of the time, this is the case.  No discussion was made of the 2% that aren't.  It also appears that the abnormal cells have only very recently changed into cancerous cells.

The doctor's are at Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh which is one of the best and next door to Megan's university.  All her doctors are located there.

A couple of days were foggy for me.  Megan called Thursday afternoon and was her old chipper self again.  The prayers are most definitely working.  My daughter is a child of God.  She has been placed in His hands.  Peace is slowly being restored.  I have all of you to thank for that.

God bless each and every one of you!  


(Megan in September at her aunt's wedding.)



            (LOL..ok, I'm goofy but I loved this NA tube and had to throw this in.  I must be almost back to normal for the time being.)


pippa1116 said...

I like that tag too.  I love NA things.
I went through all that when I was 26.  everything worked out of me just like they hope it does for her. and I went on to have two beautiful little girls and no problems at ALL conceiving.
just the same, you and your daughter are in my prayers.  and she is a beautiful girl, by the way.

firestormkids04 said...

My family and I will continue to pray even after the biopsy results come back.  We also will pray for mom (you).  It is a privilege to do so.  Many blessings, Penny

blazensun said...

My prayers will be with you and Megan.

nightmaremom said...

Chris... you know how I feel... and I am here if you need anything...

siennastarr said...

{{{{{Chris}}}}}  So glad that you decided to share this with the people here in Jland that love and care for you.  It's a good thing!

Love you

astaryth said...

How scary for you and terrifying for your daughter. I will continue to send good thoughts winging her way!

I also like the native american tube.... but probably because of the horse <g>

inafrnz247 said...

::sending up prayers for you and your daughter::  and some strength for you both as well...  


sugarsweet056 said...

I put the request in my Prayer Box when I saw it in Jackies entry. Have been praying for all concerned. I will cont to pray for her & also for you. If I can help in any way, please know I have an open ear & a big shoulder. I am here if you need me, anytime. {{{{{ }}}}}
God Bless,

carly0042 said...

I have only just started coming to your journal, so I don't know you well but God knows all of us and I pray his blessing will be with you and your daughter.

queenb8261 said...

Awww hon, I'm so sorry to hear about Megan.  You know we're sending positive thoughts and prayers to you and yours. We're here for you and only an IM or email away if you need anything.  Take care of yourself.  Give Megan a big ole hug from me and here's one ((((((((Chris))))))))) for you.
Hugs, Barb  

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

Oh..Chris!  How scared you both must be!  I will be praying for her daily..please keep us updated...If you need me shoot me a mail..if you need someone to talk to in person please let me know I will call any time day or night!  Big hugs to you friend and know I am thinking of you both!  TerryAnn

trinity773377 said...

oh, my i'm am praying for you and your family for strength and healing!  i will add you to our churches prayer list as well.  My mom the comment below mine - terry ann really is a good listener :)
Trista Marie

cherry2sweet2eat said...

im sorry chris..

madcobug said...

I pray that things will go well for her and may the healing touch of God be upon her and heal her body and give you both the assurance and the calmness that everything is going to be alright. Hugs, Helen

queeniemart said...

I had a LEVEL 4 pap in '92 and had a cone biopsy done and had cancerous cells removed by being frozen. It was uncomfortable and quite a harrowing time in my life....just 6 wks before i had given birth to Chad. I was 23.

You are the heart of J Land as far as i am concerned. You are REAL and beautiful, loving and honest. No bullshit from you and your sense of humor and the intelligent way you write and express yourself make me feel SAFE with you. This makes me worried but you know what? Megan is a fighter and i know she will be FINE in the end....she is in my thoughts and prayers as you are too, always. I am so very sorry that you all have to go thru this and if there is anything i can do, let me know.
i love you friend

jlocorriere05 said...

I'm praying that Megan will get through this Chris. I had the same thing 15yrs ago, it's scarey but if caught early there's a great chance of curing it. I'm so sorry this has happened to Megan. Jeannette xx  

jeadie05 said...

Dear Chris I pray that caught in time everything will go well for Megan Jan xx

seraphoflove9001 said...

Oh Chris...I'm so sorry...Megan and you are in my prayers.

springangel235 said...

Hi prayers go out to Megan..and that all goes well...and to you too, to stay strong.  Thank the Lord for Jackie, always there to help all of us in our time of need.  Thank goodness she was there for you...and your coworkers too.  Again, may God be with all of you...please know she is in my prayers...hugs and love,

fuzilady said...

Prayers are going up for you and your daughter.  He will take care of her.  J-land is full of angels and we will all be here for you each and everytime you need it. There are so many caring people here.
God bless you and your daughter honey

hugs and love

rainy35 said...

Chris....I'm so sorry.  I'll put Megan and you on my prayer list.  I've been thru a similar experience.

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU)))))))))))))))))))You will be in my a good day.

helloimkara said...

Chris I am so sorry.  Megan is so young to be going through this.  My heart is just breaking for your family.  The good Lord knows Megan and your pains and will carry you both through this.  I will be sure and pary for your family today at church. Is there anything I can do?  Thank you for the link as I do not normally visit this journal.

Lots of Love!

tillywooat62 said...

Hi Chris, sorry to hear of Megans trouble, I hope that she will be ok, I missed it in Jackies Journal,I dont have the link to it, keep us posted as to how she progresses
youare in my thoughts and prayers, god bless you
take care Lynne xx
p.s. love the graphic,

astoriasand said...

Hi Found you through my comment you sent.OH! i wa so suprized to find it was your daughter ,she is beautiful.I had been to Jacky's journal ealier,and left my prayers.God is good and will hold her safe.We are all with you.Prayers abundant from me and my family.I have a daughter 30 and if it were me,I can imagine how I would feel.Take care God Bless.I will be back to read more.

chat2missie said...

Oh Chris!  I must not have receieved some alerts cause I had no idea what was going on!!  I can only imagine as a mother how you felt when you heard those words!!  I'm sending you and your daughter some big hugs and I have you guys in my prayers.

dwhee70041 said...

I did not wat to jump to any conclusions when I read Jackie's post.  There are several people in my little J-land circle that she could have been talking about.  Somehow. I kept thinkig of you and Megan.  I'm glad the shock has worn off and now it's time to deal with it.  You, Megan and the other people in you life will be in my prayers.  There is such power in prayer!  I will also pray for the surgerical team on the 28th, that they will be guided.  May God bless you and Megan, Chris.  Hang in there, the Lord is with you.

penniepooh said...

Hi Chris, Well you and I have talked about this, so you already know that my prayers are with you and your lovely daughter.

Megan is such a young, healthy, vibrant and beautiful young woman with so much love and prayers going her way.
Love you-

oxobagladyoxo said...

So so sorry to hear what is happing. I am sending my love, shoulder and wonderfully long prayers to you and megan.

Love ya,

rdautumnsage said...

First (Huge hugs) for you!!! I don't know how well I would hold up under the same circumstances. Prayers on the smoke for Megan and all turns out ok. (I'm Cherokee it's my way of prayers) I can feel for you. I have a daughter myself who is in her first year of college. I was touched by your story. Yes, there are those of us , who come in here who are not meanspirited and really do care. I am one!
Stay safe and loved ! Indigo

lisa41076 said...

Chris, your Megan is so beautiful !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am praying for Megan and you as well my sweet friend, Hugs to you Lisa

pharmolo said...

What is a stark milestone to some is an unremarkable pebble in the roadside to others. Hope the outcome of the biopsy is favourable. All strength to Megan and yourself, and all in the family.


lanurseprn said...

Hi Chris.  I'm so sorry you and your family have to deal with this.  You are a strong woman.  I will be saying prayers for you and your family.  Megan is just beautiful!  

xxroxymamaxx said...

Oh Chris.  Thank you for alerting me to this.  Megan has been through so much in her young life.  Good thing she is strong and has a great mom like you to help her through it.  I can't imagine how you both have been feeling.  So many prayers for all of you.  Love, Shelly

jmoqueen said...

Megan is a beautiful girl and I hope the cancer hasn't spread and will be cured as soon as possible.  My prayers and thoughts are with you both xx

*hugs* Jenny

heathermarie3073 said...

I'm so, so sorry for this news you received!!  I have been so behind on alerts that I just got to your journal and my mouth dropped open when I read this entry.  I'm praying that everything turns out ok.  It sounds like it is good news that it was just recently that the abnormal cells became cancerous, hopefully that is a good sign.  Keep us posted!  
xoxo, Heather

midwestvintage said...

 Chris, I am praying that everything turns out fine.  I have seen this fairly often and would life to reasure you but until you know for sure if everything is fine it won't help.  We are all thinking of you and Megan and our prayers are with you all.


dreamingbrwneyes said...

She is such a lovely young woman, praying for strength for both of you to get through this, and keeping you both in my daily prayers.

~ Jenny

psychfun said...

This is why getting these young girls to get the vaccination they have now for this virus is soooooo important. Maybe God believes that your daughter would be a great spokeperson for this role to prevent this in other women! After she deals with the immediate needs maybe she can do this as part of her healing. One of the best ways to kick stuff like this in the butt is to say "I'll show you!" :-) Prayers on the way!