SNAGS/TAGS/ETC.

            

Goodness, I've had these in my Photobucket for a good while.  I can't even remember if I had an inspiration or if they were made for my group.  Yikes, I'm thinking this one was when I was in one of my many moods this past summer.

          

 

Life Blooms in Color/SNAGS or TAGS

          

LOL...my life is blooming again in color.  I've had a rough summer somewhat; nothing earth shattering but many worries.  Plus not smoking seems to have changed my personality.  Me without nicotine....I'm happy I'm not filling myself with toxins, totally happy.  I don't notice that I have more money because other financial things have popped up but I'm not feeding the tobacco companies.  But, and a big but, I'm just not the same person nicotine free.  I'm not so sure right now I like the nicotine free mind but I won't go back to poisoning my body. 

The tag above won 1st place in a word art contest in my psp group which shocked me totally because almost all the talented graphic creators are in my group.  I just loved the (tube) or the in layman's terms, the girl in the tag.

It chilly and raining cats and dogs here again.  Weird summer.  Cold and rainy or so hot and dry and humid that it was hard to breathe.  Megan is back in Pittsburgh but home this weekend.  She needed more things.  Yuck....a trip to Pittsburgh for me tonight in the rain.  She is still going to work 20 hrs a week while in school.  Hoping this all works out for her.

Anyway, I have a couple of tags I made a while ago that I didn't post.  Last week was just an awful week for me but things are looking up, I hope.  Yikes, I just found a few more in Photobucket that I never posted so I'll be back later tonight and I'll post those.  It's an early dinner time tonight....meatloaf, sugar snap peas and buttered red skin potates.  It was cold and rainy so no grilling.

(Terry Ann and Sally, I'll get your tags to you tonight.)

        

Dreams & Ramblings/Snag or Tags

                  

Peaceful blue...love that color.  Floating on a ball...love that feeling.  I took two days of vacation for R&R for my shoulder and my mind.  Thurs was not so good.  Yesterday, I was able to float away in the pool and the sun and feel some of the pressure releasing.  My shoulder is still sore; I'm still preparing for a battle with Sears about the AC unit today, mentioned in my other journal but such is life.

LOL...I forgot to mention that in addition to a previous nicotine addiction (previous, blah, it still rears its ugly head but I persist and prevail), I have a sun addiction which I try to keep to a minimum and visit the dermatologist 4 times yearly.  So, sun and water is soothing and healing to my soul; taking a huge second to the ocean but that won't happen until I grow that money tree in my yard.

Now to a scare...Joey had a huge asthma attack last night which required a visit to the ER.  Actually, it was his first major attack since diagnosis and mild (which we found out later) but he was scared, as I would be if I couldn't breathe, and hyperventilated making it worse.  So please say some prayers for him as the weather is not helping a bit.

I still owe a couple of tags from a week or so ago.  I apologize and will get them to you guys today.

I'm hoping this journal doesn't expand beyond its margins.  Has AOL changed the width of our sidebars again?????  How did you guys get your journals back in whack again?  I've been messing with my other journal for two weeks now.

Anyway, Love & Hugs to all....Stay cool and enjoy!  CHRIS

 

HELLO :)

A huge hello to one and all.  I'm just overwhelmed at all of you.  So many have kept in touch and showed so much concern and support.  I feel bad yet extremely blessed.  I've actually been dabbling in my Paint Shop again...whoo hoo....although I still have doubts that I like the stuff I've done.  Anyway, I love these little pixels thingies so snag away.  I don't think there's room to tag them so they are just snags.

                            

 

                           

 

                              

On Tues, it will be 6 weeks of being smoke free.  The journey has been incredibly rough for me.  I still have a long way to go.  I did find a wonderful book online at work called "Forever Free."  Work was slow after the holiday, and the govt. has some awesome smoking cessation sites for us to access.  Anyway, I have kicked the nicotine withdrawal.  Now, it's the psychological stuff that triggers strong nicotine memories which cause cravings, like my computer, which I'm slowly beating.  I still have a problem when I'm out with my BF.  A couple of drinks at a smoky bar is a hard one.  I'm thinking it's a blessing he has been working most of the time, at least for now.

The 4th was a quiet one.  The weather was total yuck.  My BFwas working and Megan was floating on a boat in the river.  Joey and I had ribs.  I watched the fireworks on tv because I'm a wuss and don't like the booms but did see some from the yard.

Today it will be 90 so it will be a pool day and something on the grill for dinner.  Sort of a blah summer but so many changes.

Keep Missie Missie's Upside Down World in your prayers.  Her brother has pneumonia and is not doing well.  He could use lots of JLand prayers right now.

I'll be around to visit...things are getting back to normal.

HUGS & LOVE,

 

                           

If anybody wants the little purple sneaks siggy, leave a comment, and I'll do one for ya.....

The Ups and Downs

           

         

(This was written yesterday (Wed.)

I’m still smoke free. It was one month yesterday. I’ve been through just about every emotion there is in the past month, including a free fall into the abyss of depression. After 16 years of nicotine addiction, I have no idea who the nicotine free “Chris” is. I ask myself every day what is it I enjoy doing and come up empty; devoid of just about anything; yet I wouldn’t classify myself as clinically depressed. I’m just sort of empty right now. I have to wonder if I was avoiding life by hiding behind my computer, PSP and cigarettes. Sheesh, I sure hope not because I loved creating.

The problem I had with my pc was that I smoked there constantly and couldn’t sit still for very long without a cigarette when I first stopped smoking. This should be less of an issue now as I rarely have a strong cigarette craving.

Last week I thought I had strep again. It wasn’t. It was a viral throat thing that is still plaguing me off and on. Now, I come home and vegetate on the couch in front of the tv…oy. I just want the old me back again. Joey’s doctor said last week that it’s almost impossible for people with mental problems to quit smoking. Nicotine is a HUGE pleasure drug, quoting Dr. G. I was half tempted to tackle Joey and steal his spot on the couch. Well, it may be but neither depression nor a nicotine addiction is going to conquer me. I’ve been through much worse and come out better for it.

Anyway, good news, Ms. M. got herself an internship in Pittsburgh with one of the largest financial institutions and is making some darned good money doing it. She started Monday and takes the bus with me so no more midnight through dawn pick ups. I’m so proud at how she is turning her life around plus she makes dinner every night when we get home.

Joey tore something in his knee jogging with Meg and needs to get an MRI done tomorrow.

So life marches on. I have to thank all of you that checked up on me while I was MIA. It touched my heart and many times, I was just too numb to respond. I have beenreading journals but find myself so far behind. I’m going to start off fresh so I don’t totally overwhelm myself. ROFL…can you believe this is me saying this? Yikes…overwhelmed with journals; not the certified PSP/PC addict. Love you all and hope the worst is behind me. Nope, the worst is definitely behind me.

Now, it's Thursday.  I would have posted this yesterday but had DSL problems from huge storms.  LOL...figures, the first day I really wanted to be online, and I kept getting kicked off.  I'm hanging in there but definitely would not make it as the poster girl for smoking cessation.  Love and hugs to all.  I have a few snags that have been hiding in my Photobucket for quite a while.  (If anybody wants them tagged, let me know.) Think it's time to get back into my life again.

            

         

        

I'm Back with some SNAGS or TAGS

               

               

 

I'm back after a sort of self-imposed break from my computer and life, in general.  It was a rough week but I'm slowly scratching my way out of the hole I put myself in.  I'm still smoke-free and on Tues, it will be two weeks. 

Megan had her court date.  She lost her license for 90 days and has been put on a payment plan for the fines.  She put a pretty good sum on it as a down payment.  She has 52 hrs of community service and is on probation for a year plus must take the victim's classes.  What rocked my world was that Pa. is not granting waivers to drive to and from work anymore.  I feel like I'm being sentenced.  I expect her to pay the fines which means she needs to work.  Her waitress schedule has her working from 4 or 6 pm to 1 or 3 in the morning every weeknight.  Guess who is picking her up?  ugh...moi  There just is no other solution.  It would be so much easier to just pay the darned fines for her but I don't even begin to have that kind of money plus she would learn nothing.  I'm telling you this is going to be one long summer.  I feel like a dang zombie.  She gets her license back Sept 4th.  Big whoop.  She'll be back in school.  She has been cleaning the house for me which is really nice.

So, I sulked for at least a day or two.  I craved cigarettes for even more than a day or two.  I felt like banging my head off the wall for a day or two.  I wanted to cry for a day or two.  I couldn't even begin to make tags or do an entry.  I just felt empty.  Now, I'm trying to deal with this in some sort of positive way.  Megan's 21st birthday was Friday.

My pond is crystal clear, by the way.  Now, it's the pool I'm working on.  It has been a challenge.  I got in today.  Yuck, after all the chemicals, it was still slimey so I loaded it with chlorine, more algae crapand ran the filter all day.  It didn't look too bad tonight.  LOL...I want to run away from home.

I apologize for not visiting journals.  I'm a week behind and hope to start catching up with everyone.  I've been a scatterbrain so if I owe you a tag, please let me know, and I'll get it to you.

BIG HUGS  CHRIS

                

72+ HOURS~SNAGS or TAGS

          

No turning back for me, and, nope, I'm not that happy bee today.  This is my first day at home "smober", and, to be blunt, it SUCKS!

Day 2 was almost way too easy, no cravings, no craziness.  Yesterday, Day 3, was a mix of slight cravings and some craziness when I got home and found out my BF is working for the next two weekends again.  He is also sick.  He doesn't need the money but that's why he's working.  So, I just stifle what I really want to say.

Day 4, the beginning...I'm craving but I won't give in.  It's gonna be a bad day.  My pond...ugh.  I've poured so many chemicals in it but it's filled with sludge and leaves  I decided to drain it.  I did that the year before last.  Yuck...it smells even with all the chemicals.  I got halfway through and my filter and pumped burned out.  They are inexpensive.  This is the second one I've had in 8 years.  So, I need to buy a pump.  Oy, my BF did it before but I've been doing all this myself now.  I hate dirty jobs but I did drain the pond the summer before last myself. So, a picture of my pond last summer in July.  I'm thinking that a lot of the flowers didn't make it through the winter plus my ivy died that covers the jets.  Anyway, July 2006 (you can see the rocks on the bottom...lol...yes, you can):

         

Now, today June 2, 2007 when the pump was still working :(  That's my cart with crap I already removed from it.  I know it doesn't look that much different but those are leaves and other stuff you see; not the darned rocks.  Ewww...if I got closer, there are dead maggot looking thingies in it and it stinks.  It should be about the same color but clear.  Hope no one is eating.  This pond is a full time job itself.  I haven't even started the pool yet.

           

Off I go to the little hardware store.  They sell pond stuff far cheaper than the actual pond store.  Of course, there is this underlying anger at my BF because he is now sick and had to take off from his new job already.  Dang, I hate doing this stuff myself, and I hate that I haven't seen him in 3 weekends. 

On a good note, Megan cleaned the familyroom the other day.  It's totally immaculate.  She also came home at midnight last night.  A friend picked her up as soon as she got home.  I haven't seen her since.  BAH HAH...it's her last weekend of freedom.  Monday is court day.  Ok, I'm being a total witch.  I'll leave you with some tags to snag or I'll tag em.  Don't know who  the artist is on the first one and right now I don't really give a rat's behind.

      

 

                                                    V

 

                                     

 

                            V

 

Warning.....the next tag may be offensive to some. It contains some adult content. You look farther, you've been warned.